If you’ve ever suspected that the pool of eligible men shrinks as a woman ages, well, the numbers say you are… exactly right. And, with the increase in online dating sites, many geared towards those under 40, older women face more competition than ever on the dating scene.
However, using age as an advantage, women in their 40s, 50s and 60s can turn the odds in their favour, according to international dating expert and advisor Paula Rosdol, 51, www.paularosdol.com, whose own midlife dating odyssey across Europe and the U.S resulted in 125 dates before finding and marrying the love of her life here in the UK.
Based on the latest National Statistician* figures (released in 2009), for women 50 years and older, there simply aren’t enough men the same age to go around. Although women start with a dating advantage in their 20s, with single men outnumbering single women by almost 15%, a reversal of fortune steadily occurs for women as we age. By the early 40s, men outnumber women by 4%; the the late 40s there are only 1% more men than women in the same age bracket. By the early 50s, women outnumber men by 3% — and the gap grows to 66% by the late sixties.
Paula, who now advises women from throughout the U.K. on how to find, meet, attract and connect with suitable men, says, “It comes down to the law of supply and demand, and making the number work for you, not against you. That mean taking control of your love life – as you have other important areas of your life, such your career, finances and health, and developing and carrying out a plan to take your social life from good to great.”
Paula likens finding a perfect partner to that of landing an ideal job. “It’s all about determination, not desperation,” she says. “If you were unemployed, you’d do everything to find work, including updating your CV, placing and responding to ads, and participating in networking events. Successful dating is no different – you got to invest some time, energy and money to meet your goal.”
Paula, a former high-tech marketing consultant, instigated her own mid life transformation to find love and marry by the time she reached 50. She believes that successful 40+ dating is about using one’s age – including life knowledge, skills and experience – to set oneself apart from the crowd, including younger women. It’s also about coming to terms with the reality of midlife, which includes not only a smaller pool of available men, but also the necessity of dealing with body personal baggage, ingrained habits and body changes.
“By embracing what I call ‘gracious power’ – a dynamic combination of life experience, self- awareness and esteem, sexual maturity, intelligence, compassion, understanding and patience – mid-youth women can not only set themselves apart from younger ones, but radiate a positive, magnetic energy that attracts all that’s good in life and love,” says Paula.
Here are Paula’s top 10 tips for successful dating and finding love over 40.
1. Be determined, not desperate. Believe you can have the type relationship you want. No settling for second-best as there’ less time to waste.
2. Get real. Accept the realities of midlife whilst adjusting what is in your control: your attitudes and behaviours.
3. Stop making excuses. Use the skills that have made you successful thus far to devise and carry out a plan-of-action to find, meet, attract, and connect with suitable singles.
4. Harness your resources. Be prepared to spend time, energy, and money to take your social life from good to GREAT.
5. Beat your drum. Let your unique essence and what life has taught you thus far set you apart from others.
6. Redefine your ‘type’. Paradoxically, casting your net wider as you age can lead to meeting more – not less – appropriate singles who can enhance your life.
7. Work the laws of nature. Be as youthful, attractive, and healthy in your mind, body, and spirit as you possibly can be.
8. Lighten up. Leave any baggage behind and have some fun being who and what you’ve become.
9. Demonstrate some positive attitude. On second thought, demonstrate LOTS that’s come from self-confidence earned over the years.
10. SHINE! Stop worrying about extra pounds and wrinkles start paying attention to your energy. Shifting your energy can shift the quality of singles you find, meet, attract, and connect with.
About Paula Rosdol, www.paularosdol.com
Paula Rosdol is a dating advisor to single women, especially those over 40. As featured in the national press, Paula combines real life experience with published science and proven business practices to provide practical advice that helps clients plot a quick, simple, safe and — most importantly – fun course through the oftentimes challenging singles’ terrain.
Editors Notes
*Source: Numbers are from Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics: Review of the National Statistician on Marriages and Divorces in 2006, and Adoptions in 2007, in England and Wales [London: HMSO, 2009], 1-2. The statistics are based on single men of the same or similar age group to women.
Paula Rosdol is articulate, entertaining and a competent ‘real life’ expert for discussion midlife dating, love and life transformations and is available for interviews or contributions to media articles.
Case studies of women working with Paula are also available on request.
If you are a journalist interested in setting up a ‘real life’ review of Paula’s advisory services, please get in touch.
For further information please contact Paula Rosdol
T: +44 (0) 779 499 6414
E: paula@paularosdol.com